Today has been a day of testament to my patience. instead of bogging you down with the details, let’s just say that boy am I thankful that I am such an optimistic creature. On another note, I have decided that instead of allowing myself to lie about my feelings to a certain someone, that I would call him and tell him directly. Well, I got his voicemail. I left him a message to call me, yet who knows if I will hear back from him today. ANY-way, I have not finished the dress. This is part of my frustration with the mess of life that has transpired today. I will be done by the beginning of next week, yet it still puts me a week behind. Especially because school starts on Monday. I am sometimes really envious of the people that everything just falls into place so easy for them. It has always been a struggle for me. Let’s talk about love for instance, it seems I attract boys, could it be cause I look a lot younger than I actually am, or is it that the male species seems to mature at a slower pace then womyn? I made out with a BOY on Monday (which is a big thing for me, cause the last time I really made out with someone was almost a year ago, or maybe it was over a year ago) anyway, it was his birthday, so I felt it was my duty from the heavens to show him a good time. I mean we made out and that was it. Even before we made out, I was acting weird cause he was dancing with me and I normally don’t dance with strangers. Yet, I allowed for it to happen, due to the fact that I caught him checking me out on more than one occasion and when he did approach he was really sweet about it. Yet, at the end of the night he bounced without even a goodbye. Karma’s a bitch , cause I ended up running into him this morning, yet last night I had sent him a message via facebook stating that I did not appreciate that, especially after he stuck his tongue down my throat. I mean, I did tell him on the dance floor that he wasn’t going to score, so maybe that was why he left. I don’t know. Nor do I care to know, cause I am all about being casual, yet that was just wrong. SO, I ask myself why is it that I attract these boys, and when actually do boys become men? because I have dated the 35 year olds, and they seem to be more of a boy then the 28 year olds. I know that I am LOVE, so I will attract love, yet universe I ask you, when?
As far as the boy/man that I am interested in, we had beers the other day, and when we were chatting I think we both could almost sense the chemistry between the two of us. Yet, nothing can come of it now. We are both dealing with other bullshit that just makes it impossible for us to be together at this moment. So, I spend as much time as I can with him, until we can truly decide if this attraction is really worth investing in. I believe he already knows how I feel about him, but I wonder if I should continue to play it mellow or if i should throw all the ball in the court? When it comes to relationships are you the slow and easy or fast and situated type?