Interracially Beautiful.

I originally started this post about a man, yet, what I would like to bring to light is the interracial couples that I have experienced through the media. I state this because, I grew up in Hawaii,where it is common to see this. Yet, now living in Seattle I wonder how I am perceived because, I tend to attract caucasian males. I mean, I wonder if Black men are intimidated by me? I don’t discriminate, but, I tend to go for dark hair, tan/dark skin. I mean I do have a thing for Red Heads! Which is quite the opposite of what I usually look for. So, it comes as no surprise that the most recent attraction I have made happens to be a Redhead. Yet, this one comes with some strange requests (which don’t they all).
So, I am a bit lost as to what I am suppose to think about my encounter with a man that I have been crushing on for awhile. He gave me his number, he told me to call. We spoke, he just encountered a crazy girl. So, he needs a week break from hanging out with anyone. He told me that the first time he saw me he thought, Damn, she is yummy. Which is exactly what I am. I mean, he was so honest with me. I like that about him. I like many things about him, yet, I don’t even know him and I am extremely frightened to get to know him. I have extremely bad anxiety, so I tend to take anxiety medication. I didn’t take it this weekend, and I left him a message stating that I thought it was unfair of him to categorize me with the crazy girl. I mean he is the one whom gave me his number and then he doesn’t want to hang out? No offense to me, he says. Which if I hadn’t just got out of a year of longing and pining for a boy who pretty much led me on a wild goose chase, I wouldn’t be so crazy. I don’t even know if I am being crazy or if this is a valid reason to be suspicious of him. So, I sit in the coffee shop, wondering if I shouldn’t even try to have anything with him. DAMN, am I screwed when it comes to men?
Then, I suppose we as woman are all a bit screwed when it comes to dating. Men, are so indecisive.
It just so happens that I could see a future with him. He has a lot going for him; he owns/inherited his business. He works a lot. He is older (32 to be exact) He is quite flirtatious. He practices yoga. He likes to chill and relax. He tends to stay home a lot, and do domestic things. Yet, I am just a bit nervous about the whole, crazy girl situation and him putting me in that box. I hate being put in a box and I hate when I am not given a fair chance. So, we are back to the drawing board. Well, it is time for me to do homework.

xoxo Latoya

Sunday’s at the Shaw’s

Today was quite the day. Originally I had it on my calendar to watch a friend’s children. Yet, it seem’s they weren’t in need of my help after all. So I ended up getting the day to sleep in, file paperwork that had been piled on my desk for the last 7 months!!!!!! It feels so good to finally be organized and able to use my beautiful wonderful lightbox table/desk (pictures soon). I took a break from writing to reorganize the living/work area of my home. I brought the Television out of my bedroom into the living room. I made room in the work area for my industrial machine, that shall be coming in about two weeks!!!! I am feeling much more motivated and very much able to get more things done in my life. I also am giving into the fact that we have cable and we also have a television, so I might as well utilize it. Anyway today Orion and I painted for a bit, yet, he has watched way more television then I would normally let him (it was a rainy day) I am so not in love with Seattle’s idea of Summer! I can’t wait to vacation to Hawaii this winter. I have to go do some homework. I mean I am in summer school.

 xoxo Latoya

Broken Hearts = Broken Dreams

What a waste of time, loving someone whom hasn’t even figured out how to love himself. I mean, I should have known the warning signs where there. Once again I lay in bed, saddened by this disappointment! He is an asshole and I should have taken all the warnings that I got, yet I thought we had something sacred. He says we are friends, yet the way he treats me isn’t anyway I would treat any of my friends.  It makes my heart harden when I think of the sweet nothings he told me. I feel used, yet, it’s his loss. I was blinded by his charming behavior. I once told a girl he was sleeping with, not to get emotionally attached. Yet, that is exactly what I did. I have forgiven him many times, yet this time I can not forgive him. I have to forgive myself for allowing myself to see the beauty in him, and believing it wasn’t only on the surface. The beauty I saw in him is the beauty I reflect. charming as L.P. may be. He is just another man using his looks to get what he wants. He says he’s SORRY, yet he doesn’t even know what he’s sorry for.  I’m sorry that he’s back in Seattle and that I may end up seeing him, and will have to show him just how mean I can be. Some people take my kindness for weakness. Yet, my fire is burning brighter than ever, and he will be scorched.
xoxo Latoya

Summer Strutting

Well Summer has finally come to the Beautiful Pacific Northwest! I have been rocking some of the most amazing outfits, and have failed to take any pictures, except on my MacBook in my photobooth. I sincerely apologize about that and about my lack of attention to the blog. I started summer school and I am determined to get above a 3.5 in my classes. So, my focus has been on school. Yet, it also is summer so I have been doing quite a bit of relaxing and alcohol drinking. I am finding balance in my life and within that I am learning to find time for the things that matter to me. It is quite the experience. I have also been catching up with the near and dear friends in my life. It’s the 4th of July weekend, and I am looking forward to barbecuing, dancing, and fireworks. I will leave you all with a few photos from this week. 

xoxo Latoya